Say This, Not That: Language Tips for Daycares

Every daycare has that one teacher—the one who seems to have a special touch with the kids. At my kid's center, it's Ms. Taylor. She walks into a chaotic room, and within minutes, the children are calmer, more engaged, and happier. It seems almost magical. But it isn't magic; it's the power of language, specifically, the power of declarative language.

A Transformative Moment

Let me share a story. One afternoon, I walked into Ms. Taylor's room. The children were cleaning up after a particularly messy art session. As I watched, I noticed something remarkable. Instead of the usual commands and requests, Ms. Taylor was narrating the scene. "I see lots of beautiful artwork on the floor," she said, with a smile. The children glanced at the scattered papers and, without being told, started picking them up.

Then, a little boy named Jake, notorious for his reluctance to clean up, proudly showed Ms. Taylor his drawing. She responded with, "I love how you used so many colors in your picture, Jake. I wonder where we should put it so everyone can see." Jake's face lit up, and he eagerly found a spot on the wall.

The Power of Declarative Language

This was a lightbulb moment for me because she was using the strategies from our training. Ms. Taylor was using declarative language—statements that describe, reflect, and share observations rather than giving direct commands. This approach invites children to think, respond, and act autonomously.

1. Reducing Resistance
Children often resist direct commands as they strive to assert their independence. Declarative language, by contrast, reduces resistance. For example, instead of saying, "Stop running," saying, "I notice the floor is slippery when we run," helps children think about the consequences of their actions.

2. Enhancing Critical Thinking
Declarative statements prompt children to use their critical thinking skills. Rather than, "Clean up the toys," saying, "I see toys all over the floor," helps them recognize what needs to be done and decide to take action.

3. Building Connections
This language style fosters a collaborative atmosphere. Children feel respected and understood, which strengthens their connection to the caregiver. Sharing observations and feelings helps build trust and mutual respect.

Practical Tips for Using Declarative Language

Integrating declarative language into your daycare is simple but requires practice. Here are some practical tips:

1. Share Observations
Replace commands with observations. Instead of, "Pick up your toys," try, "I see toys all around. What should we do with them?"

2. Express Feelings
Share your feelings to encourage empathy. For instance, rather than, "Don't run," say, "I feel worried when I see running inside because someone might get hurt."

3. Encourage Problem-Solving
State the situation and invite solutions. For example, instead of, "Put your coat on," say, "It’s cold outside. How can we stay warm?"

Real-Life Impact

Incorporating declarative language in a daycare setting can transform the environment. Teachers report less resistance and more engagement. Children develop better problem-solving skills and show more respect and empathy towards each other.

Takeaway

As daycare directors, you hold the power to shape a nurturing and empowering environment for your children. By adopting declarative language, you can reduce resistance, foster critical thinking, and build stronger connections. The next time you notice a chaotic moment, remember Ms. Taylor’s approach. Try sharing an observation instead of giving a command, and watch the magic unfold.