Navigating Negative ADHD Comments

The other day, my friend called me upset...

She'd just had a run-in with another mom who made a comment about how excited she was for summer break with her kids, then said something about how my friend must have a tough time keeping her son busy because of all his "extra energy." 

Now, as a mom of a kid with "extra energy," you just don't go there, right?

My friend was fuming and I can’t say I blame her. 

All she could say to me was: “Extra energy? What kid doesn’t have energy? No kid–that’s right.” 

I know this really had nothing to do with her son’s extra energy. It was built up frustration of people always trying to point out the “bad” in her kid. 

If your kid has ADHD or executive function challenges, these comments come at you all the time from relatives, friends, teachers, coaches. It's like, how do you build that confidence in your parenting and shut down the negativity?

Here’s what I told my friend and I think it’ll work for you too: 

Take a Breath

Seriously, just take a moment. It's so easy to react with anger, defensiveness, or even shut down. But if you can take a breath and calm down, you’ll be in a much better place to handle it.

Reframe the Situation

Think about it this way: these comments are a chance to educate people about ADHD and why it's not a bad thing. You can turn it into a moment to share what makes your kid unique and awesome.

Have a Ready Response

It's always good to have a go-to response when someone says something off-putting. Try something like, "Yeah, my kid has a ton of energy, but that just makes life more fun!" It helps steer the conversation to a more positive place.

If you want more confident parenting phrases you can find them here.

Educate When You Can

If you're up for it, share a bit about ADHD with the people around you. It can be super simple—maybe just explain that having ADHD is just a different way of experiencing the world.  Address common misconceptions about ADHD, such as the idea that it's simply a lack of discipline or laziness. 

Emphasize that ADHD is a legitimate medical condition that requires understanding and support.

Share specific examples of how ADHD manifests in your child's behavior and daily life, highlighting challenges they may face at home, school, or in social settings and what strategies you use to help them!

The more people know, the less likely they are to make those annoying comments.

Connect with Other Parents

Find other parents who are in the same boat. Joining a support group or just connecting online can be a game-changer. It's great to know you're not alone and to get tips from other folks who totally get it.

Focus on the Good

When people point out the "extra energy," focus on the positives. Share stories about how creative, enthusiastic, or resilient your child is. It’s a great way to remind yourself and others that there's so much more to your child than just the challenging parts.

Surround Yourself with Support

Find people who support you and your family. The right people will build you up and help drown out the noise from the negative ones. You deserve a community that has your back.

When dealing with these types of comments, stay confident in your parenting.

Reframe those awkward moments into something positive, and remember, you’re doing great. No one else can walk in your shoes, so just keep doing what's best for your family.

You've got this!