Lessons Learned from Hell Camp: Authoritarian vs Authoritative Parenting

For our after-bedtime date night, my husband and I watched the Netflix documentary called "Hell Camp: Teen Nightmare" and I can't stop thinking about it. I was def yelling at the TV.

Parents would pay thousands of dollars to send their "troubled teen" to an outdoor camp to make them better people. It took a no-nonsense approach and claimed to teach these kids to take responsibility for their actions. As a parent, this sounds great but that's not all these campers experienced.

These kids were placed in harsh environments and experienced many forms of abuse leading to detrimental effects. For most of these teens, the program did more harm than good long term.

And it had me thinking about the different parenting styles and how many parents confuse authoritarian and authoritative parenting.

Authoritarian: strict and parent-driven, one-way communication, don't prioritize social-emotional needs of the child.

Authoritative: set clear limits with connection, problem-solve with their child, focus on open communication and natural consequences.

Studies have shown a connection between parenting styles and symptoms of ADHD. An authoritarian approach has been found to lead to increased aggression. This is why behaviors get worse with your kiddo when you try a less collaborative approach.

So how can you move towards an authoritative approach? 

Focus on being proactive instead of reactive.

1. Set clear limits ahead of time and be consistent. The key here is to talk with your kiddo about these limits ahead of time.

2. Stop using threats and start using accountability. I talk more about that here.

3. Allow room for mistakes and problem-solve together. Put it in reverse and play the scenario over again.

Let's be proactive, set clear limits through open communication, and foster accountability instead of threats. By allowing room for mistakes and problem-solving together, we can create nurturing environments for our children to thrive. And let me know what you think about Hell Camp. 

Stay Pozzi!

Janie